September 27, 2026.
For generations of Americans, filling out a medical form was a straightforward exercise: provide your name, date of birth, address, insurance information and medical history. Today, some patients encounter another question: “What are your pronouns?”
For some Elders, the question represents an unfamiliar change in a process they have used for decades. They may wonder why a doctor's office needs to know whether they use he/him, she/her or they/them, particularly when they believe their name and basic medical information already provide what a health-care provider needs.
The question can be especially confusing when “they/them” appears as an option for a single person.
The explanation is relatively simple: Some people use they/them because those pronouns correspond to how they understand or identify themselves. Others use singular “they” when a person's gender is unknown or not relevant to the conversation.
“They” Isn't as New as It May Seem
Although the practice of asking people to identify their pronouns is relatively recent in everyday life and medical paperwork, the use of “they” to refer to one person is centuries old.
Historical English contains examples of singular “they” dating back to at least the 14th century. The word has traditionally been used when a person's gender was unknown, unspecified or not important to the statement.
Consider this familiar sentence:
“Someone left their coat. I hope they come back for it.”
“They” refers to one person, even though the speaker does not know whether that person is male or female.
What is more recent is the practice of some people specifically identifying “they/them” as their personal pronouns.
Some people identify as nonbinary, meaning they do not identify exclusively as male or female. Others may use gender-neutral pronouns for other personal reasons.
For those individuals, they/them can be the way they ask others to refer to them.
For example:
They are going to the doctor.
The nurse spoke with them.
The doctor reviewed their records.
In each sentence, the pronouns refer to one person.
The “You” Comparison
One way to understand how language changes is to look at the word “you.”
Today, “you” is used for both one person and several people. But historically, English distinguished between singular and plural forms of the second-person pronoun. Over time, “you” became the ordinary form for addressing one person as well as a group.
That history provides a useful reminder that English grammar is not static. Words can acquire new uses or become common in circumstances where earlier generations would have used different forms.
Singular “they” has an especially long history. What is different today is that some people deliberately identify they/them as their personal pronouns.
Why Is Using Someone's Pronouns Considered Respectful?
The medical reasoning behind asking about pronouns is primarily about how patients want to be addressed.
The American Medical Association supports the voluntary inclusion of preferred pronouns and preferred names in medical documentation and related forms. The AMA describes this as part of creating culturally sensitive communication with patients.
AMA educational guidance specifically recommends asking patients how they would like to be addressed and advises health-care professionals to use the names and pronouns with which patients identify.
The concept is similar to using someone's preferred name.
A person may legally be named Robert, for example, but may routinely be called Bob. A medical office may need Robert for insurance, billing or official records while staff members may call the patient Bob.
Pronouns are another form of personal address.
A patient who identifies particular pronouns is essentially providing medical staff with information about how that patient wants to be referred to in conversation and documentation.
The AMA's ethics guidance emphasizes that trust in the patient-physician relationship depends in part on mutual respect and dignity.
Respect Does Not Require Agreement.
For an Elder who finds the practice unnecessary or confusing, there is an important distinction between understanding the practice and agreeing with it.
A person can ask why a medical office wants the information and how it will be used.
At the same time, using someone's preferred name or pronouns can be viewed as a basic courtesy, much like learning how to pronounce someone's name correctly or using the name by which they ask to be called.
That does not require a person to change their own beliefs about gender or language.
It simply means understanding what another person is asking you to call them.
Pronouns Are Not the Same as Medical Information.
This distinction is particularly important in a doctor's office.
A person's pronouns do not, by themselves, tell a doctor about chromosomes, reproductive anatomy, medical history or other biological information that could be relevant to treatment.
Doctors may still need medically relevant information about a patient's sex, anatomy, reproductive history, medications and other health factors when those details matter to diagnosis, screening or treatment.
The pronoun question serves a different purpose: it identifies how the patient wants to be referred to.
The AMA's policy specifically distinguishes preferred pronouns and gender identity from biological sex and clinically relevant, sex-specific anatomy in medical documentation.
Are Patients Required to Provide Pronouns?
Not necessarily.
There is no universal rule requiring every patient in the United States to provide pronouns on every medical form.
The AMA supports the voluntary inclusion of pronouns and other gender-related information in medical documentation. Individual medical practices, health systems and electronic health-record systems can decide what information they request and how they collect it.
That means a patient who encounters the question and does not understand it can reasonably ask the medical office why it is being requested and whether providing the information is optional.
Why Some Elders Question the Practice.
For an older patient who has never encountered these questions, the reaction may simply be:
“Why does my doctor need to know this?”
That question is understandable.
For decades, many patients expected medical forms to concentrate primarily on information directly connected to medical care, insurance, medications and contact information.
Adding a question about pronouns can therefore feel like an unnecessary change.
Medical organizations that support the practice view it differently. They argue that asking rather than assuming can help health-care workers communicate respectfully with patients, particularly when a patient's preferred name or pronouns differ from what staff might otherwise assume.
There is also recognition that not every patient wants to provide this information. An AMA Journal of Ethics article notes that some patients may choose not to list pronouns and may find being asked uncomfortable or unnecessary.
A Simple Way to Understand It.
For an Elder who finds the terminology unfamiliar, the concept can be explained simply:
“You don't have to agree with the practice to understand it. Some people want to be referred to as he, some as she, and some as they. ‘They’ can refer to one person, and that use has existed in English for hundreds of years. Today, some people use they/them specifically because they don't identify exclusively as male or female. A medical form asking about pronouns is generally asking how the patient wants to be addressed—not asking for a diagnosis or replacing the biological information a doctor needs to provide medical care.”
For some people, using a person's stated pronouns is an important form of courtesy. For others, the practice remains unfamiliar and may take time to understand.
Either way, understanding what the question means can make an increasingly common change in medical paperwork less confusing.
